Key takeaways
- A predictable routine of contact (same days, same times) reassures a parent more than frequent but random check-ins.
- Share the load: a befriender, a neighbour, a daily phone call and a community group each cover a different gap.
- Sort the paperwork once: benefits, power of attorney, GP and pharmacy details, and an emergency plan.
- Watch for the practical barriers, such as hearing, transport and money, that quietly shrink an older person's world.
Supporting a parent who lives alone is less about grand gestures than about a routine that holds together when life gets busy. This checklist is the one we share with families who contact us. Adapt it to your parent, and do not try to do all of it yourself.
What should I do every week?
- Call at a fixed time, for example Sunday at six. A call they can look forward to is worth more than three surprise calls.
- Ask about the week ahead, not only the week just gone: appointments, who is visiting, what they are looking forward to.
- Check the essentials: food in, prescriptions collected, heating working, any letters they are unsure about.
- Make sure someone sees them in person at least weekly: you, a sibling, a neighbour or a befriender.
What should I sort out once?
- A contact list on the fridge: your numbers, the GP, the pharmacy, a neighbour, and AgeTrust.
- Benefits check: Attendance Allowance, Pension Credit and, under 66, PIP. Many older people are missing money they are entitled to.
- Power of attorney for health and for finances, set up while your parent can choose it themselves.
- Repeat prescriptions set to delivery, and a pill organiser if there are several.
- A key safe so help can get in, and a pendant alarm if there is a falls risk.
- An emergency plan: who does what if you are away or ill.
How do I add company without it feeling like 'care'?
Frame it around what your parent enjoys. A befriender who likes gardening, a shed for someone who was always in the garage, a lunch club near the old workplace. Involve them in the choice and start small. Our guide to how befriending works explains the first conversation, and we are happy for families to make that call on a parent's behalf.
What if I live far away?
Distance makes the routine more important, not less. Set up telephone befriending so someone speaks to your parent every day. Find one local person, a neighbour or a befriender, who can be your eyes and ears, and thank them properly. Use supermarket delivery and pharmacy delivery. And plan your visits so they include the practical jobs (the GP review, the paperwork) as well as the pleasure.
Frequently asked questions
Sources and further reading
The AgeTrust team
Befriending, Men in Sheds and PIP support
AgeTrust (charity no. 1124019) has worked on older people's health and loneliness since its founding, including national programmes with the NHS and the Department of Health. Articles are reviewed by the team and updated when guidance changes.
